Here’s a deep cut for ABAPers who are also Shakespeare fans. In a recent project chat room, we veered slightly off course into fun topics. One thing led to another…and we found ourselves re-writing Jaques’ famous soliloquy from As You Like It. Without further ado, we present “All The World’s a REPORT” from DO WHILE You Like It.
ABAPER: All the world's a REPORT, And all the men and women merely PERFORMs; They have their END-OF-SELECTIONs and their START-OF-SELECTIONs; And one man in his time CALLs many FUNCTIONs, His programs being seven transports. At first the WRITE, Mewling and puking in ST22’s arms; And then the whining RAISE EXCEPTION, with his SY-MSGNO And shining morning SY-MSGTY, creeping like snail Unwilling to the application log. And then the CREATE OBJECT, Sighing like furnace, with a woeful CONSTRUCTOR Made to his caller's local variables. Then a FUNCTION MODULE, Full of strange EXPORTINGs, and remote-enabled like the pard, Jealous in type-checking, sudden and quick in EXCEPTIONS, Seeking the ST12 performance trace Even in the short dump's mouth. And then the CLASS, In fair round implementation with good attributes lin'd, With TYPES severe and METHODS of formal parameter, Full of wise saws and instance variables; And so he executes his code. The sixth transport shifts Into the lean and slipper'd MACRO, With DEFINE on nose and END-OF-DEFINITION on side; His youthful statements, well sav'd, a world too RIGHT-JUSTIFIED For his shrunk stack; and his big manly RESULT, Turning again toward childish OUTPUT, MOVEs And RECEIVEs in his sound. Last transport of all, That ends the strange version history, Is second WRITEness and mere REDEFINITION; Sans TRY, sans CATCH, sans ENDTRY, sans RETURN.“All The World’s a REPORT” from DO WHILE You Like It.
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